20 Aug Puzzle Solved
Ever wondered why you struggle with certain areas in your life?
It could be when it comes to speaking out, or joining in, or having confidence, even feeling connected or even just feeling isolated.
As a survivor of child sexual abuse this can often relate to the conditioning and grooming, we experienced.
I know I struggled for years to express my thoughts and feelings easily. I would go into fight or flight syndrome, find it hard to breathe and just could not say the words I desperately wanted to.
What I now recognise, was underlying all of that as an adult was the severe fear and trauma attached to me ever using my voice. What I hadn’t figured out was the connection between them or how those puzzle pieces fit together.
How this manifests in you will be different to other survivors, which is to be expected. The core question is ‘What area in your life are you not coping in as well as you would have expected to? or, in what ways does your childhood conditioning and trauma dictate your behaviour as an adult now?’
The answer will always reveal itself to you and in the processing of this information, it will already be becoming apparent. All you need to do is go within and ask.
When you can put the final puzzle piece into place you may feel vulnerable and a little bit shaky and even less confident. Do not be overly concerned with this; as remember you have had layers of fear and trauma to break through to even recognise, let alone deal with this dilemma and how it showed up in you as an adult.
Once this has landed you may go through a range of emotions including anger, and rightly so: what was taken from you should never have been, just feel how you need to.
It will pass.
Understanding and then being able to solve this puzzle means you are stepping outside of your well-conditioned comfort zone. To master this, takes practice but doesn’t mean it is not available to you. In fact, the opposite is true; this truth is incredibly motivated to emerge from within, where full and powerful healing lies.
Be proud and excited that you are making sense and reclaiming the part of you that should always have been thriving in you and celebrated.
Notice how in the discovery of this there is a relief to it, you are integrating some final pieces that were cut off so you could survive this trauma.
You will also know this wasn’t available to you until now for a very specific reason; it just wasn’t your time. It is NOW though.
Understand that everything that happened to you formed who you are, and where you are now in your life. Having this realisation is a huge step forward in solving the puzzle that is you. It may have been something you were struggling with for years; people may have even asked you why you couldn’t do this or say that or become that…. The understanding where the real you and the possible you lie is now complete.
All you need, all you have to do is step forward into you, the person you were always meant to be, the full you, the rounded you, the imperfect you.
Holding the space for yourself and knowing who you are is perhaps the greatest gift available to you, the best present you will ever unwrap, the most complex puzzle you will ever solve.
My words to you are simple really:
Congratulations, I stand with you always.
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