26 Nov Disappointment
Commonly appearing as a person letting us down, or something we hadn’t anticipated, disappointment is part of who we are.
It’s going to happen; we just don’t always know when.
Disappointment also offers a twist, the uncanny knack of reinforcing our sense of not good enough, just what we all needed to feel following the event itself.
Regardless, its’ here to stay and the acid test is in how we manage it.
I recently experienced this through having my book submission turned down by Hay House. Although not totally unexpected, I still needed to process this. Ironically it wasn’t in my best interests to have it published by them, but I still felt let down that they hadn’t chosen me. I mean really. What is wrong with people?
All joking aside, I realised it wasn’t meant to be. Perhaps that’s in part due to my resilience and optimistic outlook, but really its more that my way forward is in me having more control over how its published and the repercussions of that.
For me, it all came down to trust. Trusting that the right thing would happen and that my book would find a voice in a way that benefits not just buyers, but me as well.
Making sense of it was the challenge and that’s where my lesson lay. Seeing it for what it was, trusting that the right path would appear alongside knowing when to walk onto it.
Having disappointment in our lives helps us. It makes us vulnerable and therefore anxious; we have to dig deep to overcome and master these feelings before we can move to accepting them. We need to give ourselves time and lots of compassion to do this, and sometimes that’s the hardest of all. We can quite easily and quickly fall into ‘the not good enough’ category, and though inevitable, it’s the complete opposite of what we need in that moment. As Brenee Brown author of the book ‘The Power of Vulnerability’ says “Vulnerability is not knowing victory or defeat, it’s understanding the necessity of both; it’s engaging. It’s being all in.” We need to honour ourselves for at least throwing our hat in the ring and engaging in life. We do know people who live in the safe zone, who live lives without attempting to try new things simply because there’s no surprises. It takes courage to step outside our comfort zone to try something different or submit that book proposal, and it’s a good time to recognise that.
Disappointment is inevitable, life doesn’t go smoothly all the time and honestly, we would not grow resilience or courage if it wasn’t part of our experience.
Feeling it, accepting it and learning from it are all valuable lessons.
In the learning of it we may realise that we weren’t quite ready, or that the person involved was not really the right one after all.
However it presents, we have learned something, which may result in building a greater sense of who we are alongside building self-awareness.
That is an unexpected outcome from a disappointing experience. Let’s honour ourselves for at least trying, lets recognise the warrior in us who was prepared to step into the ring and take on the challenge.
When disappointment hits, the following ideas may work:
Feel how we need to
Rage at the universe, or others
Step into acceptance by knowing it wasn’t right for us at this time
Learn from this by looking at other options, which may be more beneficial to us
Know the Universe/Angels/God have our back
As for the book, well I’m going to be self-publishing.
Best option all round, and not winning the competition confirms that.
Have a lovely weekend all
Much courage to you