31 Jan Disappointment
Feeling disappointed and then accepting it is one of life’s many challenges.
Commonly appearing as a person letting us down, or something we hadn’t anticipated, disappointment is part of who we are.
Realising it is going to show up is helpful but doesn’t negate the impact it has. We all deal with it at some stage or another and much like child sexual abuse it doesn’t discriminate between age, race, gender, or status.
It’s going to happen; we just don’t always know when.
Disappointment also offers a twist, the uncanny knack of reinforcing our sense of not good enough, just what we, as survivors needed. More of that.
Regardless, its’ here to stay and the acid test is in how we manage it.
I have learned the hard way that it all comes down to trust. Trusting that the right thing will happen and trying to make sense of it is usually the challenge and that’s where the big lesson usually lies. Seeing it for what it is, trusting that the right path will appear alongside knowing when to walk onto it.
Having disappointment in our lives helps us. It makes us vulnerable and therefore anxious; we have to dig deep to overcome and master these feelings before we can move to accepting them. We need to give ourselves time and lots of compassion to do this, and sometimes that’s the hardest challenge of all. We can quite easily and quickly fall into ‘the not good enough’ category, and though inevitable, it’s the complete opposite of what we need in that moment. For some of us, we live in the safe zone, live our lives without attempting to try new things simply because there’s no surprises or challenges and it feels safer. It takes courage to step outside our comfort zone to try something different. For others of us, we are engaging more fully in life because we feel we can, and that is to be honoured as well. Wherever you sit on this, acknowledge, and recognise (please), what you have achieved.
Be aware, that regardless of which group you align with: Disappointment is inevitable, life doesn’t go smoothly all the time and, we would not grow resilience or courage if it wasn’t part of our experience.
Feeling it, accepting it and learning from it are all valuable lessons.
In the learning of it we may realise that we weren’t quite ready, or that the person involved was not really the right one after all.
However it presents, we have learned something, which may result in building a greater sense of who we are alongside building self-awareness.
That is an unexpected outcome from a disappointing experience. Let’s honour ourselves for at least trying.
Gabrielle Bernstein has a wonderful 5 step technique which I love and use often:
1 – Take your hands off the wheel
2 – Focus on what’s Thriving.
3 – Obstacles are detours in the RIGHT direction.
4 – Ask for a Sign.
5 – When you think you’ve surrendered, surrender More.
This letting go and wondering what it has to teach us, is powerful.
Alongside that, if the disappointment is still there, I would also suggest
Feeling how you need to
Raging at the universe, or (someone safe)
Stepping into acceptance by knowing it wasn’t right for you at that time
Learning from this by looking at other options, which may be more beneficial to you
Knowing the Universe/Angels/God, or whoever has your back
Have a lovely week and Much courage to you
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