20 Nov Having Someone
When you are a survivor having someone who believes you and supports you is gold.
Finding at least one person who stands by you and supports you it’s almost indescribable.
For some of us, it happens organically, for others, it can take a while to have that experience occur in our lives.
The difference between trusting someone enough to tell them or not, is significant because:
- Trust was broken when the abuse began, so trusting anyone, and I mean anyone, will be an issue.
- Abuse occurred through grooming and manipulation, so breaking the silence is even more fraught with difficulties. And finally:
- Telling someone, anyone, breaks the cycle and alerts deeply buried fears.
Remember this was kept in the dark and grew in its power, so finding the words to break it is beyond challenging. That someone, whether a partner, friend, or spiritual connection like; God, buddha or spirit; will be a key part of your life from that point on, and the relief you feel, will be incalculable.
The impact of sharing explodes the solid glass wall you had built, so as this shatters and breaks, space is created within to allow newness and opportunity to occur.
This is so powerful and combined with their trust in you, their compassion, and love, signifies your chance to overcome and thrive.
Having them to share with, helps break more than just the wall, as enclosing that, was the fear, guilt, and shame. With the control over these now gone, there is no power over you anymore. You have broken the spell the abusers have cast when they began hurting you, abusing you, and now; you no longer need live in fear of them coming after you or hurting your loved ones.
You now have the power.
It has been reversed.
There is potential for new beginnings. Imagine what you have just let go of, as like a litre of water being emptied out. The container feels lighter, looks empty and can now be refilled with something new. Why not make that hope, possibility, and the light that only truth can bring? Start releasing all those pent-up emotions and experiences that are trapped within you. This will begin your path of recovery.
Don’t ever underestimate the power of that someone to share all of this with. For most of us, there is someone. For those who haven’t found that yet, know that the right person is on their way to you. There is a reason for the delay, and you will know why once you see them. They are the perfect person, at the perfect time, and you will be relieved you waited for them.
Be mindful that in the telling of this you are not the adult you see in the mirror:
You become again the child.
You were young.
You were innocent.
You could not give consent.
Remember to honour that when the old guilt and shame starts to surface. Remind yourself with compassion and love that it’s just the old stuff resurfacing and it can’t hurt you anymore. Remind yourself to keep honouring yourself whenever this happens, as it likely will again and again.
The person you honour with your truth, that someone, will be grateful you chose them, as they get to see and meet the real you. Which in turn reflects that you, after all, are the master of your destiny. The captain of your ship.
You held truth to the light and there is nothing more powerful than that. Ever.
It is time for you to claim your rightful place and roar the words.
‘This is Me. This is who I always was.’