20 Mar Taking Charge
A belief held by many is that actions speak louder than words, I don’t think anyone would dispute that, but I want to take it a step further. What happens before the action takes place? Have a think…
To my mind, it’s a thought!
Nothing can happen until the thought to do so occurs, and before that thought is a feeling, and there’s even some debate about which of those comes first!
Everything comes down to how you feel, everything stems from there, so doesn’t it make sense to feel as positive as you can?
How can you do that when you are trying to heal through the trauma you experienced, especially when you feel triggered?
In other words, how do you do both?
How can you have your thoughts and feelings impact your actions, so you are completely in alignment?
Start with allowing yourself to feel how you need to; if you are negative and angry, that’s fine, as you need to grieve the life taken from you. You are also entitled to feel as happy and fulfilled as possible and live a life full of joy.
Sound confusing?
Let’s demystify it.
If you allow what happened to work its way through you and your life, you will notice two things: 1. It’s hard, and 2, it doesn’t stay the same for long.
The best way to start is to believe that how you feel is important, as is working through the trauma you experienced. If you don’t it will just prolong the agony and it will feel even worse. You may be surprised in the doing of that, that a small amount of happiness might shine through, usually found in the smallest of things,
Because the mind can’t hold onto happiness and sadness at the same time, one of them will need to exit, so take time to notice what makes you smile.
Depending on where you are in your recovery journey may mean you are some way off from experiencing joy or fulfilment.
That’s ok, the possibility is always there quietly waiting for you to emerge through what you need to. How will you know when the time is right?
Because you are there.
Take charge of you, by challenging your own thinking if it is mainly negative and if your self-belief reflects that, chances are your life will reflect that too. One way to build more positives into a trauma filled mind is to accept who you are, where you are at, and start to notice what is possible, and what you do feel grateful for.
This has a way of changing our neuro pathways to more positive outcomes, over time.
For example, it may be that the only thing you feel grateful for now is the sun is shining, or the coffee tasting good. No panic, little by little, step by step this will start to blossom, you will find you naturally have more to feel grateful about. This leads to a feeling of happiness and before you know it, you are starting to feel happy during parts of the day you otherwise weren’t.
Well, done, you have managed to honour yourself, feeling how you need to, taking the necessary steps to heal and being proactive in finding a way to experience some genuine joy.
This is not always going to feel okay. But we do know that the more we practice something, the more it grows, the more we focus on what is the more we see it.
After all it was Wayne Dwyer who once said, ‘You’ll see it when you believe it’.
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