20 Oct Silence
Although this is well known to us as survivors and has been used against us in destructive and manipulative ways, were you aware, silence is available to you as a powerful method of communicating?
I’m not talking about being forced into silence, I’m talking about a whole different area around it, one we have never discussed, until now.
Silence can be useful for us when we are in conversation with people who struggle to hear our story or minimize the prevalence and impact child sexual abuse has.
Here’s a thought: instead of putting energy into justifying or explaining, how about instead, simply letting them speak until they run out of steam. We tend to speak to make things more palatable or comfortable for them, so the awkwardness disappears, but the problem is it hasn’t worked in our favour to date, and somehow, I don’t think it will.
I’m not suggesting we be disingenuous or false, I am simply asking that we consider the power of silence, after all it has been used against us since time began. Why not consider how we might use it ourselves? Little known fact: In any conversation the person that is most respected is the person that says the least.
Perhaps we could adopt that approach, save our energy from those it is wasted on.
This is just one way to take our power back: using less words with an audience where frankly, our words are just not welcome.
Part of our trauma as survivors, is that we need to be believed and validated. Have we ever stopped to consider that the effort we put in may be with the wrong people? Have we ever thought that if we need to try this hard, that we are perhaps in the wrong place at the wrong time? Healing from this type of trauma means there will be many different facets to our recovery but underlying it all should be allowing ourselves to be supported by those who love us unconditionally, support us unconditionally and believe us unconditionally. Notice the theme there? Unconditionally. Anything less is not helpful. We need to start expecting that level of support from people that are important and feature in our lives.
It is time for us as survivors to regain our power and reignite our beautiful light.
Truth is more powerful then lies, light is more powerful than dark, and we are more powerful than the abusers who stole our innocence.
Don’t underestimate the power that resides within the lack of words, i.e., the silence. This speaks more loudly than any justifying or explaining can do, and although it feels a contradiction to suggest that silence is good, using it this way creates more power than the scrambling we have been doing to get others to accept our experience!
We cannot get this wrong, we just need to trust our inner knowing.
Believe that anything is possible, and the truth will be revealed in ways that may be a surprise. Sometimes the reality or the outcome is so much more powerful than what we dreamed.
I know that deep within us is a knowing, and That Knowing is moving us closer to the light. With love to you beautiful ones, you are never alone. I see you; I stand beside you, and I believe you.